.../I never wanted to be,the person you see,but thank you,oh god please

Dear God, I'm writing this letter to you,
cause I don't have a clue, can you help me?
I'm sitting here, simply trying to figure out,
what my life's all about, can you tell me?
I never wanted to be, the person you see,
can you tell me who I am?
I always wanted to die, but you kept me here alive,
can you tell me who I am?
I lie awake conducting this symphony,
that you have gifted to me, I can't ever sleep,
don't get mad, but I get weak inside,
and I start to fall apart, cause I feel nothing,
I never wanted to be, some kind of comic relief,
please show me who I am,
I've been tortured and scorned, since the that I was born,
but I don't know who I am, and I thank you man for everything,
sorry I'm so frightened about all of it, but I wish I could give you more,
and all the lights are shining down on me, and I feel intimated by it all,
I never wanted to be, the person you see, but thank you,
oh god please tell me now, are you disappointed? are you proud?
haven't I done everything, everything,
I'm so sorry I'm so weak, and I turned into a freak,
but I don't know anything, anything,
I've lost all self-esteem, my baby and everything and I feel nothing, nothing,
oh god please tell me now,
oh god please tell me now, cause i feel nothing,
and dear god I'm writing this letter to you,
I am coming unglued please help me...