Poor Impulse Control

I envy your demise
I hope it's all you dreamed it would be
One bullet in this gun
Not sure if it's for you or me

I envy your demise
With all the guilt you hid away
All the lies that I had spun
And all the times I wished you'd stay

Now, all that I'll ever suffer
All that I'll ever be
All that I'll [bad word] 
You can always cover me with makeup

I envy your demise
Seven hundred and fifty degrees
When it burned it smelled like you
But it scorched and looked a lot like me

I envy your demise
You never said that you'd try
When I had to lose control
Lose control to really cry

Now, all that I'll ever abuse
All that I'll ever see
All that I'll [bad word] 
You can always cover it with makeup

All that I'll ever limit
All that I'll ever try
All that I'll ever [bad word] 
You can always cover it with

All that I'll ever abuse
All that I'll ever see
All that I'll [bad word] 
You can always cover it with makeup