A Fine Romance

fine romance with no kisses 
 fine romance, my friend, this is 
 We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes (to-mah-toes, dear) 
 But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed po-tah-toes (potatoes) 

 fine romance, you won't nestle 
 fine romance, you won't even wrestle 
 You've never mussed the crease in my blue serge pants 
 You never take a chance, this is a fine romance 

 fine romance, my good fellow 
 You take romance, I'll take Jello 
 You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean 
 At least they flap their fins to express emotion 

 fine romance, my dear Duchess 
 Two old fogies, we really need [bad word] 
 You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France! (Fronce) 
 I haven't got a chonce (chance), this is a fine romance 

 fine romance, my good woman 
 My strong, aged-in-the-wood woman 
 You never give those orchids I send a glance 
 They're just like cactus plants, (oh boy) 
 This is a fine romance