What Makes You SAD?

yo, we all go through times when it seems like the whole solar system wants to [bad word] in your mouth. 

like this huge weight is weighing down... on your [bad word] and you pull and pull and it stretches your [bad word] out, which seems cool at first, but then it's just all limp and long like fruit by the foot. 

guess we all got [bad word] that makes us sad... so i don't really want to talk about it. but i will!

you know what makes me sad!? when i make a perfect sandwich 
ham and swiss, mayonnaise, on bran some pickles and chips
and then my hand slips, 
and i watch as it flips and it falls and it hits the planet
i be like [bad word]  [bad word]  [bad word]  [bad word]  [bad word] god [bad word] it! 
why's this always happen to ME? i can't stand it!
i just don't have enough ingredients to make another
oh brother, i guess i was born to just suffer

WHAT MAKES YOU SAD?
when i'm sittin all alone by the phone, wishin the phone would turn into gold but it don't

WHAT MAKES YOU SAD?
i see a homeless guy's cup-an put a dollar inTO it, but the hot girl i'm with doesn't see me do it

WHAT MAKES YOU SAD?
i think my [bad word] finished with the pee, but i zip zip and it drip drips on ma knee

WHAT MAKES YOU SAD?
for some reason... statues. 

Here we go again, i lost my favorite pen. 
it's like satan's takin' shots at me every chance he can
plus Uncle Sam added another two cents to the price of stamps
i went swimming after eating man, and i don't like these cramps
plus i didn't get a werther's original from my gramps
i went to Ikea to get a pillow but left with lamps
the electrodes are broken on my fav-or-ite nipple clamps
it's like my life is wheelchair and there AIN'T NO RAMPS! 

WHAT MAKES YOU SAD?
when E.T. says "E.T. phone home" but he ends up in the ditch, disgusting and alone

WHAT MAKES YOU SAD?
i'm convinced in an instance my life is in the [bad word]  my mom stopped following me on Twitter

WHAT MAKES YOU SAD?
i find instead of a girl in my bed, a man's in it, and i've been gettin' head for ten minutes 

WHAT MAKES YOU SAD?
... farmer's markets.

yo, no matter how down you get... lift ya head up, 'cause the music is always there for you. i survive because the beat goes on and on...

wait, where's the [bad word] beat? well, you still got piano. The melody keeps me company when loneliness takes over...

okay now what's up with the piano?! hellllo? is anyone in the booth?... i don't know how to turn this stuff off.