Metanoia

Look at me now
I'm losing control
I don't know what to call myself.
I know that I'm sick of playing a role
All along I've been kidding myself,
Seeking out a set reality.

They say sanity is dictated by what the larger percentage of society sees.
What does that mean?
Clearly nothing! Clearly nothing!
Psychology is not an exact science. In fact, there is no exact science,
Though it may seem.
That means I'm OK and everything's OK.

All along,
I've been kidding myself
Life is falling apart at the seams.

Somehow I'm doomed to go over the same ground in [bad word] circular
thought patterns.
Over and over time and again
Over and over time and again.
I think I've got it all worked out
Then I forget every conclusion drawn,
Every epiphany gone.

I felt safe,
Then the [bad word] crashing
in one day
Without warning,
Everything that I thought was stable
Deep in me starts to wash away.

Can you feel it?
It's the motion of the tide.
Watch yourself now,
There's an ocean deep inside.
You could drown in it.

Look at me now
I'm losing control
Might even be learning to enjoy the sting of the irony.
Changing my shape, I slide through the doorway.

Can you feel it?
It's the motion of the tide.
Watch yourself now,
There's an ocean deep inside.
You could drown in it.
Watch yourself now,
There is no ocean deeper than this.
Watch yourself,
It's an endless journey through the abyss.

All along I've been kidding myself,
Working equations.
It's a long walk in and there's no clear way home.
Everything I was in constant change.
I'm not the same.
I'm not the same.