Nan You're a Window Shopper

The bottom feels so much better than the top!
So much better!

Nan you're a window shopper
Taking a look but you never buy
Nan you're a window shopper
You won't pick it up if it's over a fiver
Nan you're a window shopper
Get on the bus 'cause you still can't drive
Nan you're a window shopper
Mad as [bad word]  only just alive

You get up in the morning and you like your tea milky
You fumble for your glasses 'cause without 'em you can't see
It's funny how [bad word] around your house and I'm twenty
And I still have to wear all the presents you sent me

I walk into your kitchen everything's got a label
You've done your Christmas shopping and we're only in April
And you won't leave your house unless you're wearing your thermals
You're covered all in cat hair and you're stinking like strepsils

You're headed down the bowls club, have another orange squash
Balls are rollin', rollin', rollin'
You can't walk right 'cause things aren't what they were
Your ankles are swollen, swollen, swollen

Nan you're a window shopper
Taking a look but you never buy
Nan you're a window shopper
You won't pick it up if it's over a fiver
Nan you're a window shopper
Get on the bus 'cause you still can't drive
Nan you're a window shopper
Mad as [bad word]  only just alive

Walking down the post office to pick up your pension
And then you're off to bingo, it's [bad word] an obsession
So wary of the kids when they're wearing their hoods up
And even if they smile at you you think it's a stick up

You only buy the paper just to cut out the coupons
You're saving 50p but what do you want with tampons
You're always at the doctor picking up you prescription
And they throw in some KY just to ease up the friction

You've got a leak in your colostomy bag
Yeah, it's got a hole in, hole in, hole in
On the weekend you're shopping with your trolley
It's sad how you're rollin', rollin', rollin'

Nan you're a window shopper
Taking a look but you never buy
Nan you're a window shopper
You won't pick it up if it's over a fiver
Nan you're a window shopper
Get on the bus 'cause you still can't drive
Nan you're a window shopper
Mad as [bad word]  only just alive