Take The Long Way Home

Did you ever read Voltaire's "Candide"? 
He says live life at Benny Hill freak out speed 
Not a quote of what he wrote but a paraphrase 
Make it up as you go Keyser Soze 
Highlights yes but don't underline ‘em 
Just live for N.O.W. like Gloria Steinem 
Life is like Marion Barry 
It's not all that it's cracked up to be 
Like Fred Sanford when the big [bad word] 
Find the meaning of life is there is none 
It's twenty-four hours when you call it a day 
Be Frank and say "I Did It My Way" 
Don't give a flying nun no don't give a Gidget 
Just have more fun than a well-oiled midget 
If life were picture perfect you could frame it 
But the world is a diaper so let someone else change it 

Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone 
Might as well enjoy the ride, take the long way home 

All born equal unless you're Canadian 
Then halfway through decay like Uranium 
You define what's death-defying 
Get the most out of life or at the least die trying 
Are you Evil Knievel jumping a train?  [bad word] with scissors like Frasier Crane? 
Have really good times doing really bad things 
‘Cause the show ain't over ‘til the fat lady sings 
Like Elton John with his candle in the wind 
It's hard to blow out a flame as big as him 
But we've all got to Wang Chung with the Grim Reaper 
Whether you're Einstein whether you're Beaker 
Death is certain so it's definitely worth flirtin' 
Don't expect a bright light no just curtains 
Life is like a [bad word] most people don't know it 
But most people suck so they usually blow it 

Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone 
Might as well enjoy the ride take the long way home