Big Kisses

I went vegan, quit the coffee and cigarettes but it just doubled my appetite and I lied awake most of the night. I stopped cable and watching television and goofing off on the internet all day but it left me with nothing to say. Stopped staying at the bar too long, getting drunk, singing sad songs, stumbling home and passing out on the floor but I still wake up with darkness.
With something that is crushing me. With a persistent feeling of dread that leaks out and pilfers my breath. I started running to make waking up worth my time but it just felt like running away from the problems that swallow the day. I’ve been here for far too long, getting drunk, singing sad songs, trying hard to give myself decent sleep. But I still wake up and I’m still in love with dying.
Something inside that you wanna say, say it out loud it’s still not okay*, in fact it’s worse ‘cause everything stayed the same. And I still wake up, and I’m still in love, and I still wake up, and I’m still in love.