Queer Things

We got married in the spring
To prove it here’s my wedding ring
I always think of my blushing groom
Whenever I see the pansies bloom
 
OH No
Say it cannot be [bad word] things are happening to me
 
groom should bring his bride some joy
boy’s supposed to be a boy
I told him about the birds and bees
But he still wears those pink Shimmies
 
Oh No
Say it cannot be [bad word] things are happening to me
 
His Hair is curly as can be
He uses curlers just like me
When I find lipstick on his tie
He says there’s no other woman so it must be a guy
 
Oh No
Que’l Tragedy [bad word] things are happening to me
 
He’s so big and He’s so strong
I can’t figure out where he went wrong
He must have got caught right in between
His name is Chris it ought to be Christine
 
Oh No
Say it cannot be [bad word] things are happening to me
 
He’s never been to [bad word] Paris
But he’s as [bad word] as he can be
His friends are sweet, They’re [bad word] as Band
They’re turning my home into a fairy land
 
Oh No
Oh what a tragedy [bad word] things are happening to me
 
We went one night to a masquerade
And I dressed up like a parlour maid
Everyone knew it was me right away
But no-one knew he was the Queen of the Mae
 
Oh No
Woodman spare that tree [bad word] things are happening to me
 
Whenever we’d go out to dine
I’d buy him Pheasant and Apricot wine
But he says NO, what can I do
He doesn’t wanna try anything that’s new
 
 
Oh No
Say it cannot be [bad word] things are happening to me
 
While I was walking down the aisle
His friends all stood around and smiled
I found out why and it hurts my pride
They knew he liked the best man better than the bride
 
Oh No
No it cannot be [bad word] things are happening to me
 
We have decided it cannot be
I’m not for him and He’s not for me
He can do what he wants and I’ll do what I can
But the both of us
Have gotta get a man.