This Sporting Life

Are you bored?
Are you jaded?
Has all the enthusiasm faded?

Are you one of those people
Like glazed fruit
Who sit there in shell-shock
Till the dot on your screen disappears?

Are you one of those people
Or are you just afraid?
Are you one who craves excitement
Were you tailor made

For this sporting life?
Living on a knife edge
This sporting life's forever changing

Are you one of these people?

The keys please quick
Every second counts
I've signed the book
Gimme the keys
The elevator opens its mouth
Like Jonah and the whale
The elevator spits me out
Into a freak show
It's a freak show
And into a swarm of flies
Do.....do not disturb
Do.....do not disturb
The sign on the door read:
Do not disturb

Strange looks from the bellman
As he takes me down the hallway
Through a firedoor to a stairwell
Skidding, skidding, skidding, skidding
Out of control, out of control

Do.....do not disturb
Do.....do not disturb
The sign on the door read
The sign on the door said
The sign on the door read
Do not disturb

This is the Bad Samaritans
Hello loved one
Sorry there was nobody here to take your call personally
However, we understand what you're going through
How you've travelled life's highway with your smile on upside-down
And now you think you've found the ultimate answer to all your problems
Don't be hasty
Why waste a life
Wait until there's a crowd down below
Give a little when you go

Are you one of these people?

[Jump! Jump!]
There's a fruitcake in the window
Someone fetch the cops
For God's sake get a camera
Before the [bad word] drops
little to the left
little to the right
little to the left
Maybe tonight's the night

Why are we waiting?
We're waiting
little to the left
Right down the middle
little to the right
X marks the spot
You ain't gonna be
On This is Your Life's tonight

This sporting life
Needs organising
We'd gladly lose the cup
If we could stick the knife in

This sporting life
This sporting life
This sporting life's forever changing

Are you bored?
Are you jaded?
Has all enthusiasm faded

Are you one of those people?