My Meds Aren't Working

My body still clings to life
Only my spirit has died inside.
(so I pray)
I pray for death every night
But I keep waking up alive
I cut myself for infliction
And I still spit at my reflection
I hate everything I am
I have my friends to think for that

So I keep taking my meds
And I do what my doctor says.
I hate myself more everyday.
I guess I'll always be this way

I've learned that love is dead
And that people just get [bad word] instead
And all the while making friends
Just to [bad word] them in the end
[ Lyrics from: [bad word] /www [bad word] lyrics/d/dystopia/my_meds_arent_working.html ]
Everyone I touch infects me
Cancer in flesh there is death all around
Everyone I touch, I infect them
Black and dead is my heart

Alone, I'm not good when I'm alone
I pace and tear at my skin and my hair
Burn myself for some relief
For a sick [bad word] joke of a life
The punchline is when I die
And come back as me for eternity
Just to [bad word] up everyday? 
And fail the ones that I love by being alive

I don't know who I am anymore
parasite in human disguise? 
Searching for a piece of [bad word] with all of you maggots and flies

Everyday I feel that I just can't do anything right
I'm sorry if you know my name
I probably [bad word] your life, goodbye