Mr. Mustachio's Stomp (Stomp for Mr. Mustachio)

Say what you will about my moustache 
Say what you will about my beard 
But I have a friend from ear to ear 
I have a friend in here 

“Do not speak to the moleman” 
Said those fat cat royal clowns 
But I am no friend of the crown 
I am a friend of the underground 

Lies! Lies! Lies! 
Say what you like 
I am wet, you are dry 
So don’t you put your mittens in my pie 

Say what you will about her lipstick 
Say what you will about her [bad word] 
But there is a heart deep in her chest 
Something that you would never guess 

The heart is sounding 
For big fat pounding 
I want to take you for a ride up in the sky 
The thought is frightening 
To make love like lightening 
And kiss our lonely earthen silhouettes goodbye 
But we must do it 
We all must do it! 
On the dance floor right here right now 
So feel my pounding 
My big fat pounding 
As I fill you with my Dirty Bourbon Sound 

Say what you will about my moustache 
Say what you will about my beard 
But he is the reason that I can fly 
And they are the reason that I’m still here 

Since the dawn of time 
The moustache has always found its way onto the face of man 
And now man is faced with a problem 
big problem 
For the The Man 
He’s trying to take away the moustache from the other man 
He said: “Put on this collared shirt and shave off your moustache” 
Of which I say: “I will have none of it!” 
Everybody join me now in the stomp for Mr. Mustachio 
It’s Mr. Mustachio’s Stomp! 
You pay your kibble 
 [bad word] to the door 
You put your penny in the box 
And you wear your moustache 
You feel it crawling up your leg 
Between your toe 
Up your calf 
Up the side of your body 
All around on your spine 
It makes it tingle 
It feels so great! 
Everybody! 
Feel the moustache! 

Lies! Lies! Lies! 
There all lies! 
Say what you will about my moustache 
Say what you will about my beard 
But he is the reason that I can fly 
They are the reason that I’m still here