Yo.. yo! [Eminem hachs up spit]

Yo.. yo! [Eminem hachs up spit]
Mic check...(My [bad word] )
Testing...one, two [Eminem hach up spit on mic]
Ffff [bad word] ..(My [bad word] ) my nuts..

My attitude is worse than N.W.A.'s was
I'll battle you over stupid [bad word] and diss people
Who ain't have [bad word] to do with it, like Cool J does (My tattoo!)
You see me standin outside of your buildin; screamin,
Puffy is good, (Hey!) but Slim Shady is for the children! (Wait!)
I look at my life in a new light -- [bad word] it
Give me two mics; I write songs for me -- [bad word] what you like
You're probably hear me rap half-hearted; cause I don't like rap anyway
I'm just tryin to get my porno career started
Every place and event.. (been there, done that) [bad word]  dre stuck me in a suitcase when he went
[zipper sound] Come on, let's go!
Want a deal? Study these 5 chapters
Lesson one: Throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappers
Lesson two: Face em and diss em (Whattup dog?)
Don't give 'em a demo; kidnap 'em (I want you to come with me)
And make em come to your basement and listen
(you're gonna [bad word] check this out)
Lesson three: Get a job at a label; switch demos with canibus
And put yours on the owner's table (Here listen!)
Lesson four: Know you heard this before:
"Hey let me get your number; I'll call you tomorrow, for sure!"
Don't act like a fan -- you wanna get signed? 
Get the whitest A&R you can find
Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can
Lesson five: Get a hook-up at jive
Dress up like I.C.P and have them come see you perform live
And that's the key, but when you see me on the street; I ain't
Givin you [bad word] [bad word] - don't even bother askin me (Get away from me!)
Toilet water splashes me right in the [bad word] when I'm spittin
Cause I'm always [bad word] when I'm rappin like master p (Unnnggggh!)
Got a [bad word] from paula jones, and stuffed it so far in her mouth
My balls broke both of her collarbones (Oww!)
Told mya this [bad word] was all about me-ah (it's all about me..)
Gave alyssa milano syphillis, mono and gonorrhea (You're a [bad word] )
And all three of my main girls said see-ya
Cause brandy and monica walked in and caught me [bad word] aaliyah
(What? Oh my God!) I splish splash while I'm takin a bath
Grab a handful of pills, break em in half, take em and laugh
White trash -- [bad word] your wife in the [bad word] (Oh! Ooh Shady! Oooh!)
While you're out siphoning gas for your lawnmower to cut the grass

[Chorus]
So if I hurt your self-esteem
And you get dissed too bad (Yo why you diss me?)
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
And when I rap about a buncha [bad word] you wished you had (big [bad word] )
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
I can't listen to that song, that [bad word] s too sad!
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
He'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad! (Nurse! nurse!)
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad

What a wonderful day; I should go outside and play
Ain't no need to sit inside the house and hibernate
Hi Renee! (Oh hi!) I was just about to toss a live grenade
In your driveway (What?) and drive away [car peels out]
Are you afraid of a blade made of a razor with aids
Blood drippin from it, rippin your stomach like a paper mache
You talk a lotta [bad word]  but you was never ill though
I'm sick enough to beat you to death with a feather pillow
Tipped over some cows, just for a joke and a laugh (Mooooo!)
Jumped up, choked a giraffe, snapped his neck and broke it in half
Wagin wars, went on stage and sprayed cage with (agent orange)
And wiped my [bad word] with his page in source (Here!)
The demon is here, steamin this year
I rip (mystikal's) voicebox out, scream in his ear (Ahhhhhh!)
It's not a gimmick [bad word]  it's an image I live it