Lonesome Organist Rapes Page Turner

He told me that I knew what to laugh at
And I wanted to but I just couldn't ask if he would take it back so I could know for certain
So on the bench I watched his left hand crossing
While doubling entendres with the voicings
He said "O darling, you're charming
Please don't find it alarming if I pull this stop out to free up a hand for heavy petting"

Now there there
I'm a friendly man
I joke about  because it's funny when you're frightened

So silently I sat and turned the pages
Recalculating our respective ages
Over my shoulder, he muttered, "If I get any older
You can hack my wrists off with your choice of objects
No, I'm kidding"

Don't be scared
I'm a friendly man
I joke about death because it's funny when you're frightened

This is as far as I could get
He jabbed a needle in my neck
Erasing all the evidence
But there were matchsticks in my pants
And if a rock should hit my head
And I remember what he did
You'll be the very first to know
Maybe I'll find out why this [bad word] thing won't stop bleeding

He told me that I showed a great potential
That given I turned heads and pages
Fame would be a piece of cake
But practice was essential
So like a stupid child I believed it
And golly who would had agreed if
I had been Schubert or Mozart
Devoted to the fine art of perfecting absolutely everything inconsequential

Don't be sad
I'll come back again
I joke about trash 'cause it takes class to be enlightened

So several decades have gone by
I am still sitting by his side
I turn the pages faithfully
He turns his head and smiles at me
And with a wink he says, "I doubt
We would be anywhere without
Your gift for keeping truth and consequence from meeting"