The Gutterati?

Well, I was chasing down flies and shooting up women
Trying to get the whole thing straight in my head
Lookin' for a girl whod come with me swimming
And come and play tunes at the end of my bedAnd all the hardmen were drinkin' down petrol
I'm bamming up the girls when in came the law
Heading for the door and getting tongue tied
When they asked me what exactly I sawSo Ill get some Monte Christos
And we can all go see the band
Well, I may not be a looker, yeah
But Ill help you any way I canWell I'm back at my room I was making me nervous
Then I watched TV and picking my feet
Wishing I was pretty and burning my shoes
Wishing for once Id kept the receiptI called myself and wondered out loud
I tried to get the whole thing straight in my head
I left the tape running and played it back twice
But I couldnt make sense of what I had saidSo Ill get some Monte Christos
And we can all go see the band
Well, I may not be a looker, yeah
But Ill help you any way I can, alrightWell, it may not make you handsome
And it may not even make you feel alive
You may not have the ransom
But you can always count on this
Its him and them and she and me
Sick and muddy, everybodySo Ill get some Monte Christos
And we can all go see the band
Well, I may not be a looker, yeah
But Ill help you any way I canAnd you can bring your wasters banjo
Bring your sister and her friend Diane
Well, I may not have a big boys pistol
But Ill help them any way I canAnd you can call me Cinderella
Call me your best man
Well, you may be a right old queen
But Ill help you any way I can, alrightIt's alright