Penguin, James Penguin

Well, the reindeer pull the sleigh
And the elves make the toys
Those are the stories that are well known
To all little girls and boysBut I've got another story
That I bet you haven't heard
Did you know that Santa
Has a secret agent birdHe's Penguin, James Penguin
That dapper little guy
Like a well dressed duck in a three piece tux
He's Santa's secret spyNow have you ever wondered
How Santa Clause keeps tabs
And how he knows when you've been good
How he knows when you've been badIt's Penguin, James Penguin
That dapper little guy
Like a well dressed duck in a three piece tux
He's Santa's secret spyFrom an undisclosed location
He's watching me and you
He's got satellite up links in his cuff links
Yeah, he sees everything you doHe's Penguin, James Penguin
That dapper little guy
Like a well dressed duck in a three piece tux
He's Santa's secret spyNot so very long ago
Santa didn't need much help
But with more and more kids every year
He soon got overwhelmedHe told the elves one Christmas
We can't do this anymore
Then a knight in shining polyester
Waddled through his doorAnd it was Penguin, James Penguin
He was there to save the day
He had wireless
And GPS outfitted on the sleighAnd Santa said Penguin
Won't you be my ears and eyes
How did you like to help me run
My SCFBIHe's Penguin, James Penguin
And now I guess you've heard
How Santa got his little Christmas
Secret agent bird