Total Clarity

No, the doctors didn't tell you that you were dying
They just collected their money and sent you on your way
But you knew all along, went on pretending nothing was wrong
You said, "I will keep my focus, till the end"
In the journal you kept by the side of your bed 
You wrote nightly in aspiration of developing as an author
Confessing childhood secrets of dressing up in women's clothes
Compulsions you never knew the reasons to
Will everyone you ever meet or love 
Be just a relationship based on a false presumption? 
Despite everyone you ever meet or love, 
In the end, will you be all alone? 
As the disease spread slowly through your body,
Pumped by your heart to the tips of your arms and your legs
Your greatest fear was that your mind wouldn't last
That coherency and alertness 
Would be the first things to fade 
As your hair thinned, as your teeth blackened,
As the weight fell off, as the lesions spotted your skin
As you fell to your knees in the center of the stage, 
As you offered witness your humanity 
In exchange for the ticket's price
As the lights blended into the continuing noise, 
As all hope was finally lost
Adrenaline carried one last thought to fruition
Let this be the end, let this be the last song
Let this be the end, let all be forgiven